Prologue : The End?
by Seryne299
Summary: <html><head></head>Kaneki is heavily injured after the fight with Arima. With both his body injured and important memories lost with only vague recollection of his past especially involving Hide,what will happen to Kaneki? (Note Kaneki's POV). Probably will contain a lot of tragedy and angst and flashbacks, maybe a happy end. Warning :spoilers from the manga, violence, HidexKaneki.</html>
1. Prologue

"Hide…," I whispered out his name into the darkness.

I can't see anything, everything is dark. The silence is echoing everywhere around me. Yet somehow the darkness enveloping me is somewhat comforting, warm, and reminds me of my mother's embrace. My body is paralyzed, or at least feels like it. I try to move my body, and only my tips of my fingers respond at first. I gradually get the sensation back all the way back to my arms, in the process it feels as though a thousand needles are sticking into me all over. The sweet smell around me is overpowering, just like the sweet taste still lingering in my mouth. I manage to bring my hand to my face and I feel around my eyes.

I give a bloodcurdling scream soundlessly as I feel the hollowness that should not be there. My body is shaking uncontrollably as I try to make out what kind of situation I am in.

_**I can't see! I can't see! Mother please don't leave me alone! Anyone please help me! I want to live! …Live? Do I really want to live? Save… I have to save everyone… I have to fight, keep on fighting and fighting and fighting… and then what?**_

I give an anguished cry to anywhere, anyone that could hear me. My mind is a mess, I cannot seem to think clearly, as though something had gone through my head, through the brain, specifically the hippocampus.

_**Arima?**_

Then I remember I am all alone. No one is going to save me. Touka, Nishio,Yomo,Uta even Tsukiyama were not here anymore. No one would come to my aid.

_**Will no one save me?**_

Hide… Where is Hide?

"_Kaneki, can you fight with all you've got one more time?"_

Is this part of my memories? A hallucination? Reality?

_I don't know anymore…._


	2. Continuation

_If only none of this had happened. If only this war had not happened... If only I had not become a half ghoul. If only I hadn't met Rize. If only…_

No matter how much I think about it I cannot change the past. In the end it was because of my lack of strength and naivety that led to all this mess. I would have been satisfied living my entire life reading my novels and hanging out with Hide, the quiet and tranquil days of ignorance were something I missed dearly.

_Who is Hide?_

My mind is a jumbled mess and I cannot think clearly. No matter how much I try I cannot remember who this 'Hide' is. Yet there is a buzzing in my head telling me instinctively that I am forgetting something important. However in the state I was currently in I had probably forgotten invaluable things.

I can remember my name, I can remember what happened that caused my eyes to be skewered cleanly through as well as what was causing my memories to be disordered. I gingerly feel around the back of my head as well as my eyes to inspect the damage.

For the most part a lot of the damage to my body had started to fade after consuming ghoul corpses I had found in the sewer. In desperation I had torn into the flesh like a ravenous beast so I could survive. I had kept on fearfully looking back across my shoulder just in case Arima decided to come back just to check I was still lying on the same spot.

Arima had used his quinque to dismember my kagune to immobilize me but not kill me. I assume it was because he wanted to keep me alive so that I could be examined and made into a guinea pig. Then he had left in a hurry after I heard him talking about the 'one eyed king' to his subordinates. So I was left lying there on the verge of death in the sea of corpses. Perhaps it was because Arima had more important matters to attend to that he overlooked the grave mistake of just leaving me there, or maybe he just did not care whether I escaped. He was probably confident he would beat me immediately when I ran into him again, in which I cannot disagree. At the moment I was still too weak in this world.

I had to get stronger, more and more stronger…

"_To live is to eat."_

You were absolutely right RIze. No one but the strong will survive in this world. And yet…

Why do I feel so empty inside?

_Hide…_

Who is Hide?


	3. Dream?

Sorry for the short chapters. It's my first time writing fanfic, but I just had to write one after reading the manga and watching the anime. Kind of confused at first how to post up chapters, but getting used to it. This is just my delusional thoughts in what would happen after the last chapter of Tokyo Ghoul

Note: This chapter has some fluff and is mostly memories that Kaneki had (some of which are made up).

**Chapter 2 : Dream?**

"..eki,"

"Huh, w-what?" I mumbled, confused.

"Hey Kaneki!"

I started to turn around to the direction to which the voice was coming from, however not before a pair of arms lifted me up from behind to give me a hug bear hug. I was feeling very confused and disorientated.

The pair of arms finally let go of me and I let out a gasp of breath.

I whirled around and was confronted with a huge grin and a bush of brightly coloured orange-yellow hair.

"Hide! How many times have I told you not to do that!" I reproached him, pretending to be angry.

All he did was laugh. It was infectious, so I started laughing too. So we stood like idiots and just laughed as people walked past giving us strange looks, and just shook their heads as if they had lost all hope in humanity.

No matter what Hide did I could not stay angry at him for long. His colourful appearance matched his personality as well. He was like the sun, shining so brightly it was almost blinding. Yet I could not stay away from him, nor did I want to. Whenever he was around, I felt warm, and comforted. He was my only moral support, my only friend.

_Huh?_

_When is this from? When I still had black hair? He is still a kid…_

I look down at myself and notice my hands are quite small.

The young boy ran ahead of me, shouting and laughing all the way saying nonsensical things. He is quite a distance away and I try to catch up to him, panting all the way. I don't have a lot of stamina…

He turns around, because I am taking too long and starts shouting something to me.

- Then I wake up with a jolt with tears streaming down my eyes.

_Why am I crying?_


	4. The beginning

Well, I finally managed to write a longer chapter. I keep on getting backtracked a lot in this fanfic.

Thanks for reading.

This chapter will still have more flashbacks. It might feel disconnected, but that's the point.

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><p><span><strong>Chapter 3 : The beginning<strong>

"Kaneki, if you were a ghoul, would you eat Yoshikawa from class 2? The one you like so much?" Hide asked casually while munching on his fries.

I splurted and gagged for a moment before I replied back quickly.

"N-No I wouldn't, and I don't like her THAT much."

_Highschool?_

That's right I used to like Yoshikawa back when I was still in high school. Yoshikawa had been a nice girl. Quiet, introverted and she also liked to read just like me. She was kind.

However, I had no intention of confessing no matter how much I liked her. I was simply content sitting near her if she happened to be in the library. She was kind enough to give me a smile and a nod whenever she saw me. It was embarrassing but I would feel my face heat up when I shyly nodded back. Rather than love, it was more of a crush. I guess I was attracted to her because she reminded me of my mother. She also had the modest look and quiet demeanour. She was kind to everyone, including me.

In the end we graduated, and I never got to know her any better. I was disappointed, but it wasn't a heart-breaking experience. I still had my best friend, and no one could replace him.

Now, that I think back it seems so long ago, when I had gone on that date with Rize. At first she also seemed similar to Yoshikawa. She was a beauty, attracting many eyes as she walked past them into the unassuming coffee shop "Anteiku."

_Rize? Anteiku?_

"Kaneki, so who's your new crush?" Hide asked eagerly.

Hide was really persistent in these kinds of topics. For me, it was kind of awkward talking to him about these things. He seemed almost too eager to get the details from me. Despite the fact I hardly saw him flirting with other girls. Except that once time he flirted with the waitress in Anteiku. It was the first time I saw him do it, and it was cheesy. I felt embarrassed and quickly stopped him, giving the excuse that we might be kicked out and I would no longer be able to see Rize. He simply just grinned at me and said "that's the way to do it."

_Touka?_

Hide sighed.

"What's wrong? " I asked, putting my book down.

"If we had each had a girlfriend we wouldn't be in this situation," He replied sighing once again.

"What situation? " I asked again, getting slightly annoyed at him. It was that kind of talk again.

"I mean I wouldn't be here having a date with you, "he said muttering to himself.

I felt kind of hurt that he would prefer to spend his time with his hypothetical girlfriend rather than me, but I guess that made sense. That's how it is with normal people isn't it? So I simple let that statement pass.

_Hide…._

Then the bell rang, signalling the opening of the door.

And hell.


	5. Realization

Thank you to all the people who are reading my fanfic.

Warning : will contain violence and blood in this chapter, as expected of Tokyo ghoul.

Also if you have noticed by now, Hide and Kaneki's relationship will probably take a while until it is fully developed, meanwhile it will just be some light shounen-ai.

For now, it's still recollections of the past. Next chapter will definitely be back to the present.

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><p><strong>Chapter 4 : Realization<strong>

"Give up Kaneki, its hopeless. She's too high of a hurdle to overcome." Said Hide, giving me a look of pity directed towards me.

_You are probably right, in more ways than one._

An inner voice seemed to be telling me. However I ignored it, and instead got angry at Hide. After a while, by now it was just us messing around, Hide had to leave. I had a faint smile on my face. Hide never failed to put me in a good mood. I resumed reading after I found the place I had left off.

The Black Goat's egg, by Takatsuki Sen, a fascinating novel. The author never failed to impress me. He/she always chose the most unusual topics.

To make a long story short it was about a son and his mother. The mother is a cold-hearted serial killer named "The Black Goat." Though the son (the protagonist) condemns his mother for her actions, he starts developing traits similar to his mother. I appreciated how good the author was at describing the mental state of the protagonist, it was delicate and contrasted with the brutal nature of the novel. A very well written tragedy.

_Tragedy?_

I was busy getting absorbed into the novel – or at least tried to as I was distracted by the glasses-wearing beauty sitting by the table across from me. I looked up shyly to steal a peek at her and a wave of embarrassment hit me as I realised she noticed I was staring. I could feel my cheeks heat up slowly and an image of a steaming kettle about to go off rose up in my head. However, to my relief and much delight, she simply smiled at me and held up a book. It was the same book as the one I was holding in my hands at the moment. So, coincidences like this can really happen in this world.

_Coincidence?_

"So people can get really lucky sometimes," said Hide, pouting a bit - or at least I think he was. He was probably down because he didn't have a date. This was a few hours after a told Hide about the date I got with Rize. Hide was hard to predict at times. Sometimes it was blatantly obvious what he was thinking and feeling. Other times I couldn't tell at all. Hide had those times when he was weirdly serious and brooding. He was very observant about certain things to the point it was almost scary. It was hard to hide things from him. So I just told him everything that was on my mind. I knew that even if I made stupid mistakes, Hide would probably just laugh it off and give me a huge smile. Then I would probably laugh it off too, and I would wonder just what I was worrying about.

Going on the date with Rize was fun. We walked around, chatted. Rize claimed she was on a diet so she only had a bite out of a sandwich. It was like a dream coming true, a date with a pretty girl talking about novels that we both enjoyed.

When it was time to part ways, it was already pretty dark. We passed by two high school students. It was probably my imagination, but one of them seemed to be staring at us for a while.

_Touka…I haven't seen her in a long time…_

"Well, my house is that way, so…" I said, disappointed our time had come to an end so soon.

"Wait, Kaneki-san!" Rize called out quickly as I was about to leave.

Rize shuffled her feet and started fidgeting, looking uncomfortable.

_Don't be fooled._

I shook my head clearing my thoughts and asked her what was wrong.

"Lately I have been really scared to walk home alone, with all these dangerous incidents happening around the area where I live. I think about it so much,I can't even sleep at night," Rize said, her shoulders shaking, biting her nail on her thumb, and her face had a worried look.

_You liar._

I gave her a smile, and told her I would walk her home. She flashed me a shy smile in return.

"Thank you, _Kaneki-san."_

We carried on talking about anything that came to mind as we walked. I even pulled out a drawing that I had drawn earlier, while we had been speculating various conspiracies around the man-eating monsters.

…_Ghoul?_

As we were nearing our destination, Rize slowed down to a halt. I stopped, wondering what was wrong.

Rize had her head down as she spoke.

"But it's strange isn't it, that what started you and me and us walking together like this was a Takatsuki novel. It's very mysterious…."

She had a strange look in her eyes as she said these words.

Suddenly she walked towards me and leaned into my chest. Flustered, and not knowing what to make of this situation, I waited to hear what she said as I spluttered out nonsensical words.

_Get away from her._

I could feel my face overheating, rapidly growing redder and redder.

"The truth is, I noticed. I noticed…you were watching me Kaneki-san." My heart felt like it was about to jump out of my chest, because of the thrill I felt. Just as I was about to speak, I felt something was wrong. Very wrong.

_Run._

"Because, I was watching you too, " Rize said.

The pain that was blossoming on my shoulder was sudden and unexpected. My head cannot process just what is going on. The monster in front on me, just who is she? Where is the kind and shy Rize that was chatting to me so happily earlier? Why does she have blood all around her mouth and why is she licking it as if it is delicious? Why does she have red, bloodthirsty eyes? What is this? Just what is this?

_Why are you a ghoul?_

By instinct I start running away. As fast as I could. Rize is taunting me the whole way, telling me things that I cannot comprehend. I just know I have to get away. Her tentacle-like limbs that has appeared on her back is continuously grabbing me, stabbing me, tearing me apart, blood splattering.

_Running away… _

_The Black goat's egg .._

_Ripping out the entrails … _

_Gently scrambling around inside the stomach ~_

I remember.


	6. Present

If you have noticed, the rating went up to M because of graphic depictions of violence, typical of Tokyo Ghoul. So the story is finally back to the present, for now at least. As always, thanks for reading.

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><p><strong>Chapter 5: Present<strong>

_Drip … Drip …._

The sound of drops of water falling down echoed all around. Where I was I could not tell because of the darkness surrounding me. Whether it was because I could not see, or if it was actually dark it didn't really matter to me at the moment. My eyes had healed on the outside and I could open and close them normally but I could not tell if I could actually see with them. I had half dragged myself deeper into the sewers so that I would be safely away from any potential pursuers. I laughed at my pathetic self, which had been reduced to such a state. I seemed just like a blind centipede, crawling, struggling in the mud, and not knowing what was going on. There was nothing I could do right, nothing at all. I had failed to achieve anything, I could not save anyone, and it was all my fault. Even the two whom I thought I had saved had probably died because I told them to go to V14. Among the hundreds of corpses, they were probably blaming me all the way to the grave. I could imagine their lifeless eyes along with everyone else that had died, staring at me, trying to grab at me…

_Drip… Drip….Drip…_

And I would continue to torment myself, until eventually tiredness would overcome me, and I would fall into a restless slumber, dreaming of the past. Some of my memories had returned in this way, but there was still a lot of the pieces that was missing. I feel as though I am forgetting something vital, something that should never be forgotten. By now, I had at least established the fact that Hide had been my best friend from childhood, someone very dear to me. But there was still something missing. Whenever I tried to remember what it was, my head would start hurting. A lot. Eventually the pain would become unbearable and I would just stop thinking altogether. This seemed to ease my pain a bit, so I avoided thinking of the past. However, I could not seem to get away from it, as every time I fell unconscious, the dreams would haunt me, the wave of nostalgia threatening to overwhelm me. Then I would wake up gasping, with tears streaming down my face for some reason.

_Drip… Drip…_

For how long I was in this place I do not know. It may have been hours or even days. Because it was always dark, I could not tell whether it was night or day. So the cycle continued of me constantly reliving the past, waking up, sleeping yet again, and again and again…

_Drip…Drip…Drip…_

My irregular sleeping patterns was because my body was trying to recover from the brutal damage I had taken from Arima. It was to conserve my energy and focus on healing. I still cannot fathom how I even survived an attack that went clean through my head as well as both my eyes. However, no matter what the reason was, I had survived. I was still alive.

_Drip…Drip…_

I was probably a mess right now. My clothes were torn, my hair felt dirty and matted with mud and clotted blood all over. I imagine that it looked terrible on my white hair. I stank of iron, as even my clothes was drenched with blood.

_Drip…Drip…_

I had thought I was strong. How wrong I was. Arima had beaten me in an instant. And he wasn't even a ghoul. He was human. Like I once was. I naively thought that just eating ghouls would make me stronger, stronger than anyone else. However, after being badly beaten by Sachi, I trained myself physically as well. It was still not enough. In the end I was still too weak. I am not strong enough physically and no longer strong in mind either. Cannibalization was a destructive power, and it was slowly taking away my sanity. In my moment of weakness, I had even hurt Banjou, a trusted comrade, he even looked up to someone like me. What was the point in gaining this power, if was was going to hurt my friend? No matter how much stronger I get, there was always someone stronger. Someone dear to me always gets hurt. I can't save anyone…

_Drip…Drip…._

Tired, yet again, I slumped down, leaning against the wall. Besides the sound of dripping water slowly driving me insane, there was small scurrying sounds, probably from rats or something. There was no other sound besides that, except for my ragged breathing. My eyes grew tired and in turn my head dropped to one side, as my eyelids slowly covered my eyes.

In my mind I saw the image of brightly coloured hair and brilliant eyes. The person in which the hair belonged to smiled and said something. I could never hear what he was trying to say to me.

Hide… I want to see you.

_Drip…._


	7. Hide

The moment when I heard about Tokyo ghoul: Re…. = fangirling like crazy.

Thanks to everyone who has been reading up to now. If you would like to please review/leave a comment, I would like to know what you think of the story till now.

I tried to put a bit more fluff in this chapter, still a lot of angst though.

So it's flashbacks again.

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><p><span><strong>Chapter 6: Hide<strong>

Hide has always been there for me. And he will probably always be there, even when we both grow old.

I heard rapid running behind me coming closer and closer with weird screaming. Just as I wondered what it was two pairs of firm hands picked me up to give me a soul crushing hug.

"Hide, let go, I can't breathe, "I managed to gasp out, as he squeezed me tightly, squeezing all the air out of me.

He finally let me go and I swirled around to face him. He just gave me an apologetic grin and I forgave him quite easily with an exaggerated sigh. This seemed to be a friendly habit he seemed to have. He always seemed happy doing it so I never stopped him despite the fact I was never really into skinship. It was probably because I lived at home alone. With no parents or siblings from a young age, I was never intimate with anyone and I was just used to having no one around me.

He grasped me tightly by my shoulders, continuously patting them as he talked excitedly about the new exciting 'adventures' he had. Hide liked to research and investigate the weirdest things that interested him in his pastime. He would be so absorbed into it that he would become obsessed. One day if he ever decided to take that career path, he would be an amazing detective. The quick thinking and impressive problem solving skills were all present. It was nearly impossible to hide things from his watchful gaze.

That's why it was hardest to keep secrets from him.

However, it became necessary when _that _accident happened. After discovering the monstrosity that I had become, I had to keep it a secret from Hide at all costs. Otherwise Hide would be dragged into the dark side of the world I now belonged to. I didn't want that. Hide, who is so kind, Hide who is like the sun, shining brightly, the source of my strength, Hide who is always there for me, he does not deserve to be in the world I am in.

The day I was released from hospital, I had just gone home, feeling hungry but with no desire to eat any food. It made me nauseous to even think of it. However, throughout this whole ordeal, Hide would send me messages that would crack at least a smile on my face, or would make me despair beyond belief. His corny and silly jokes, yet at the same time strangely witty were the ones that would make me smile, and I would just shake my head in exasperation, because it represented all that was Hide. It was the messages that asked me when I was coming back to college that made me feel depressed. Honestly I cannot say it I will be able to pretend everything is still sunshine and rainbows. I was not confident that I would be able to look Hide straight in the face and tell him that everything was "okay".

And so, when I saw the plastic bag with a note attached hanging on the doorknob outside my apartment, I felt like bursting into tears when I read the note.

"This is a terrible drawing, stupid Hide." I said out loud, clutching the piece of paper hard until it crumpled, distorting the face, making it look even worse than it was. In my other hand I held my favourite food that Hide had gone out of his way to buy for me.

….Or at least it used to be until later I finally gave in and dissolved into a blubbering mess of tears when I attempted to consume it.

_I'm sorry Hide…_

After a few weeks, I finally managed to gather up the courage to go back to college. I had missed too many lectures, so I needed to catch up with everything soon. Meeting new acquaintances, working at a coffee shop run by ghouls, getting used to the fact I could no longer eat normal food anymore was taking its toll on me. I needed a change in pace, and just do something normal that everyone did in their everyday life.

As expected, Hide gave me a severe scolding that day.

This was after Hide started stampeding towards me aggressively and giving me the usual breath-taking hug, in the literal sense, and giving me a long hard look while chattering away non-stop, talking too quickly that I couldn't make sense of everything . However, I basked in a glow of temporary joy that burst out because of the 'normalness' of it all. That warm feeling enveloped me once again, and it was comforting. If only this would continue on forever is what I thought with utmost sincerity.

And in the quiet recess of my body, my heart felt as though it was beating once again.


	8. What a Tragedy

Hey, what's this? A new chapter, finally went and wrote another chapter now that I have some more free time. Thank you to everyone that has been reading up till now, really appreciate it.

Yay, it's in the present again.

So this fanfic is probably not going to follow Tokyo Ghoul: re on how it transitioned from the first part of the manga. Basically it will be an AU, in what might have happened if Kaneki wasn't captured. I am planning to just focus mainly on the life of Kaneki and Hide. They did not have much interaction in first part of the manga and I would have loved to see more of it. Hide is the best friend ever. Just what happened to him in the manga is a mystery to this day.

**Chapter 7: What a Tragedy**

It was time to leave.

I was lucky enough that the investigators hadn't caught me yet, but it was strange that there was no sign that anyone was coming to hunt me down even after a fairly large amount of time had passed. Surely someone would have noticed by now that my body was missing? Whatever the reason was, I had to make full use of this opportunity to get far away where they couldn't find me.

There was not much I could do about my messy appearance except to try and neaten myself up, which was a useless task in itself. I had to get at least presentable clothes so that I wouldn't stand out too much.

I wasn't even sure of what time of day it was, everything just remained the same in the sewers, except when it rained and I could hear the sound of excessive running water.

In the darkness, I slowly started to walk, opposite the way I had come in. I didn't exactly know the way outside, but the passage way was bound to lead somewhere. I kept looking back in fear, my senses on full alert just in case I had pursuers.

My body felt fine for the most part, it was my mind that was the problem. Though I could remember a few things, names and certain memories would randomly pop up in which I could not piece them together in the whole picture as everything was disconnected.

It was ironic that the only things I could remember with clarity was the things that I had done that I would have much rather have forgotten. I could remember all the pain that I inflicted on others so that I could protect the people who were important to me. The victims' eyes filled with hatred and despair would haunt me, hands would grab at me, trying to drag me down, which would make my shoulders feel heavy with the burden, whether in my dreams or as hallucinations, making it hard to differentiate just what was real.

I hoped Touka, Hinami others managed to escape safely. Otherwise everything I had done would have been for nothing. The people I cared for were my sanctuary and for them I would have done anything, as long as it meant that I would not be alone in this world.

As I walked, I tried to rapidly form a plan of action. I had to think of a place that I could hide. My apartment was not an option, as it was probably under surveillance. Anteiku was already exposed, so that was not an option either.

What about another friend's house?

But all of them were also ghouls…except one.

My head suddenly felt as though it was about to crack. I gasped out at the sudden pain and clutched my head.

This started when I tried to remember Hide. I could remember the events before and shortly after I became a ghoul, but I cut off contact with him after I attained the white hair. I hadn't met him again recently… Or did I?

I screamed out as the pain intensified, as I slowly started to get closer to the truth. I didn't care at the moment if anyone could hear me.

As the pain became unbearable, I just ceased all thoughts. The pain immediately started receding, and I gave a sigh of relief, massaging my temple, though it felt as though in its place there was a hollow left inside me.

Yes, there was something that I was forgetting, and it had to with Hide. My mind was subconsciously not allowing me not to remember. Was it something that I do not wish to remember?

Just what was it?

My chest rose up and went down again and again as I took deep breaths to calm myself. For now I would focus on getting outside. I picked myself off the floor, and started walking again, just at a much more brisk pace.

Then an idea popped up in my head. Though something was preventing me from remembering a few things, I still knew where Hide lived. For now I would head there and see if I could get a change of clothes and maybe a shower. I had to think of a few excuses to why I didn't stay in touch, but that was not the main problem at the moment. I was going to have a hard time explaining my current appearance. I would have to lie and say I fell down the stairs or something, and my white hair was just due to me being reckless and just decided to dye my hair for a change. I could even say my goodbyes to him before I left again, as I did not know when or if I was coming back. I could not burden him by hiding at his place, it was risky enough with my uninvited visit.

Sad I was going to say my goodbyes, but at the same happy I got to see Hide again in such long time, I started to walk a bit faster, with a bit more optimism in my steps, now with a clear goal in mind, not yet realising just what I had done.


	9. Disappearance and No Luck

**Notes: **

Well, I finished this chapter faster than I thought, I went on a writing spree.

So I am finally focusing more on the present now. Still deciding how this will all end, but I have a vague idea of what it's going to be.

This is the longest chapter I have written so far, I hope it's still enjoyable. I think I am really bad at writing pure fluff but I tried putting some in, because the chapters were pretty heavy so far, and some fan service? This chapter still a bit angsty though.

So anyone notice the symbolism I tried to use in this chapter (not the book reference)?

Hint: It's got to do with the title

Just realized that Kaneki hasn't actually met Hide once in the present throughout all these chapters. It was just through his memories and flashbacks. Haha, this wasn't really intentional, it just happened whenever I wrote a new chapter. Well that is obviously going to change, whether sooner or later. *shrugs*

So Kaneki is gate crashing at Hide's place, lol and he is still an adorable nerd inside when he is being normal. I didn't make him wear Hide's underwear, cause well I don't think Kaneki is ready for that yet. Kaneki still wears Hide's clothes though….

**Chapter 8: Disappearance and No Luck**

When I climbed about of the sewers, I saw that it was in a dark alleyway. There was no one around in sight to much relief.

I looked around my surroundings carefully in order to determine where exactly I was. It was hard to tell when most of the alleyways looked nearly identical.

I started when I heard a sudden crashing sound, followed by weird screeching. My heart felt as though it was about to jump out of my chest, fearing that I had been discovered. I frantically looked around to where the source of the sound came from, my mind working in full gear, preparing to escape as quickly as possible or eliminate the source of danger. A trash can had tipped over, and all the rubbish had spilled out, and the overpowering stench of rotting human food made me wrinkle my nose in disgust. The smell was several times worse because of my sensitive sense of smell. However, trying to ignore the smell, I focused on what had caused the can to tip over. Something was trying to squirm its way out of the mound of garbage that it was buried under. I stared at the small live bundle that was digging itself out intently, curious now, to see what it was.

A pair of green eyes are what greeted me, followed by pitiful mewling. I laughed nervously, slowly calming down as the upset black furry creature scrambled away past me into the darkness of the alleyway. Going back to the matter at hand, I could hear that I was a fair distance from the busy streets of Tokyo. The sound of people and vehicles were not that far away, but not too close either.

I would have to move around discreetly so that I would not attract any attention. My untidy appearance was bound to attract suspicion and someone might report me. I could not have that happen at any costs. The best solution would be to move along alleyways and rooftops.

I swiftly climbed up the wall and hoisted myself high up to the nearest building. It seemed even though my head was messed up, my body could still remember how it still worked. Luckily for me, it was night time, so there was less risk of someone seeing me moving around rooftops. The cool night air seemed to clear my head a bit. It felt as though it had been months that I had been stuck in the sewer, but it was probably only a few days that had passed. My sense of time has been distorted underground, so it was nice to see actual changes and time passing normally in the outside world. No closed in grimy grey walls and dripping of sewer water to be heard anywhere. From the high place I was in, I looked around the city I was in. The city lights sparkled, looking very attractive, which hid the ugliness that it actually had looming underneath. In the distance I could see Kamii University. It was not too far away, and Hide lived nearby. I started to go towards my destination. It would probably take a few minutes to reach his apartment.

I ran as fast as I could, starting to feel excited now that I knew I could meet Hide. Maybe he could explain to me the current situation. He seemed to know everything that was ghoul related because as he claimed, it was a 'hobby' of his. A sudden wave of nostalgia hit me, and I could remember with surprising clarity the conversation we had about ghouls at Anteiku. This was after Mado's death and the death of two investigators. His speculations and the way he had talked about ghouls were with such great accuracy and detail that at that moment I felt a strange fear and unrestlessness. I had almost thought he had found me out. Then he broke the ice by holding up the book about ghouls , written by Ogura, with a big grin on his face and said it was "super interesting." I had given a big sigh of relief internally. Touka had threatened to get rid of him if he ever found out the truth, and I did not want him to find out either.

But this time this visit was unavoidable. I had no one else to turn to this time. This time I could not handle this situation alone. Hide would help me out, that I knew for sure. He had always been there for me ever since we were kids, and this time was not an exception. He would probably give a long lecture, complaining about how I should keep in touch more often, and at least attend university like a proper student and not skip lectures for several months. Even if he would scold me, I would still be happy, because he would do all these things because he cared for me. His concern was endearing to me, as before I did not have anyone else that cared for me in that way. Even with all the worrying, I was still looking forward to seeing him again.

As I ran, I played a scenario in my mind of what would happen when I saw Hide again. I was craving that bright smile reminiscent to the sun. It would make my heart feel lighter and suddenly everything would seem brighter even after this pointless war. There would be a warm feeling in my chest, that almost hurt, but it would not be unpleasant. Hide would provide enough motivation for me and I would be able to carry on living on this way, no matter how painful it became.

As I played these happy delusions in my mind, I finally reached Hide's apartment.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

_*Knock Knock*_

Silence.

I waited a few moments. No response. I knocked again.

_*Knock Knock Knock*_

Was Hide not at home? It was pretty late, judging by how dark it was, so it was strange that he was not in. I knocked several more times just to check if he was maybe sleeping. It was rude of me to wake him up, but I had nowhere else to go for the night.

…. Complete silence.

I then knelt down and picked up one of the flower pots that stood against the wall next to his door. I was relieved to see that the spare key was still there. Hide had told me to use it whenever he was not at home, just in case I needed something. I took the key and inserted it the lock. With a click, the door unlocked. I turned the doorknob slowly, feeling nervous. I stepped inside cautiously, feeling out of place, because no one was home and also because I had not been to Hide's place in such a long time.

The apartment was enveloped in darkness. I switched on the lights.

The apartment lit up and I was momentarily blinded as my eyes adjusted. I looked around carefully. There was not anything very different to the last time I had been here. It looked familiar and homely. There was clothes scattered about here and there and a few dishes lying in the sink. Everything looked completely normal. But I could not get the nagging feeling to go away that something was wrong. I sniffed the air. Something was definitely off. Hide's scent was too faint for someone that lived in his apartment. It was worrisome indeed. Did Hide not come home often anymore? But judging by the scattered junk food and leftovers from hamburgers, this did not seem to be the case. The apartment looked lived in, just as it always had been. It just looked as though Hide went out for a bit and would be coming right back.

I told myself that I was paranoid and everything was fine. Hide would probably come back soon. He was probably hanging out with his other friends or something. I would wait for him to come back and leave after soon after I see him. For now I wanted to tidy my appearance a bit. I would be borrowing a clean set of clothes from him, I hoped he would not mind too much. I could not stay in the state I was in any longer. First it was important to take a shower. I probably stank from all the dirt and blood I had on me. I did not want Hide to come back to a stinky apartment. I took a plastic bag from the kitchen and discarded the clothes I was wearing in the bathroom. These clothes were no longer wearable and beyond repair. The only thing I kept was my underwear, there was no other pair available and Hide's was not an option. I quickly gave them a quick wash and put them under the dryer.

I went into the shower stall and turned on the taps. The water soon warmed up and I basked in the steady flow of water running down my whole body. I gave a contented sigh as some of the fatigue washed away. I never felt so happy about being clean. I stood still for several minutes under the spray, and then quickly scrubbed myself clean. I quickly gave my body a quick inspection to check if there was any damage, but there was none visible, except for the scar that still remained after the surgery. I dried myself off with a towel and wrapped one around my waist. I walked into Hide's room and then I proceeded to look for a change of clothes I could wear. I opened his closet, feeling very guilty as I did so. I was looking at Hide's personal belongings that he would not want anyone to see.

I was conflicted as I stared at the selection of clothes he had. Hide had… a very unique sense of fashion? The clothes were all mostly in very bright and summery colours, colours that I myself would never wear, it was just too daring and bold. Looking through the clothes quickly, trying not to mess it up too much, I finally managed to find a pair of relatively modest shirt and pants. I put on the clothes, feeling strange in someone else's clothing. The clothes were slightly large on me, but not much, since we were about the same size.

I looked all around the small apartment, feeling a bit more relaxed, now that I was in a familiar apartment. Now all I had to do was wait for Hide to come back.

I was still feeling restless, so I started making some coffee despite the fact it was very late into the night. It was calming to do something I used to do in everyday life. The welcoming aroma of coffee soon started to fill my nostrils, a pleasant change from all the disgusting odours I had been unfortunate enough to experience. I took several sips of hot coffee, sitting down on a chair.

Something caught my interest as I looked around the room. It was one of Takatsuki Sen's novels. It was "The Hanged Man of McGuffin". I experienced more memories flowing into me as I remembered the day I had gotten the same book signed the day Hinami and I went to meet Takatsuki Sen. Hide never really held any interest in her books so much, even though I tried to get him like them. So what was this book doing here? I opened the cover and felt a wave of shock course through me when I saw that it was signed by the author herself. Hide might have been to the book signing event.

_We could have accidently run into each other that day._

I had a lot of questions to ask Hide when he came back. I skimmed through the book as I waited for Hide's return. Several hours passed as I waited. Still no Hide. I yawned and I laid down on the couch as tiredness was taking over me. I would take a few minutes of rest…. As I thought this, my eyes closed and I fell into a deep slumber.

I woke up the next day, due to the sun shining onto my eyes, with Hide nowhere to be seen.

_Where was Hide?_


	10. Revelation

**Notes: **

I am writing more frequently, now that I have a lot of free time.

Please review or comment, I would like to know what you think about the story so far.

Thank you soooo much for reading this far, I am really happy that people would read this for so long ^_^

**Summary**:

Kaneki's smile is destruction.

Kaneki is near the truth…

**Chapter 9: Revelation**

Hide did not come back home.

It had been already 5 days since I came to Hide's apartment. I had stayed that long because I thought Hide would come back right away. But he still was not back yet. I had become increasingly more worried as the days passed by, but I kept telling myself that Hide would come back right away. I would imagine him bursting through the door any moment and then I would surprise him with my sudden appearance.

However, I could not wait any longer. Finding another hiding place was not the most important problem at the moment. I had to find out what happened to Hide. Luckily, I did not have to feed for some time. I had had more than enough of food to last me for a month at least, and it was better I did not feed for a while and just stay low and out of sight while things calmed down.

I made up my mind to search for Hide. I went out through the door, looking as calm and relaxed as I could as I closed the door and locked it. I was about to walk off when someone caught sight of me. My heart started to beat rapidly as I saw the young lady walk up to me.

I tried to remain as composed as I could as I stood still and waited for her to reach me.

"Good morning," she said, looking at me suspiciously and then to the door I had just locked. She seemed wary as she was probably wondering why someone unfamiliar had come out of Hide's apartment and locked the door as if he owned the place.

"Good morning," I greeted in return, giving a bright friendly smile.

She seemed to relax a bit and gave a small smile as she started to question me. She first introduced herself as the landlord.

"I wondered who it was that left Nagachika's apartment, I hadn't seen him around for a while and I got a bit worried that someone broke into his house," the lady said, giving me a once over. She frowned a bit when she saw my white hair, which was clean now of course.

"I am a friend of his. He asked me to check up on things while he was away, "I said in reply, as I subconsciously touched my chin with my left hand.

"Ah, I see," was all she said as she was still staring at me and my strange appearance, especially my white hair.

"Oh this? " I said giving a laugh, "I lost a bet and I had to dye my hair white for punishment, I was lucky though, I wanted to get a hair dye anyway."

I tried to remain calm throughout this whole façade. Meanwhile my heart felt like it was in my throat, and my nervousness threatened to overtake me. I noticed my hand was still on my chin, so I dropped it quickly.

The young lady seemed to visibly relax as she heard my explanation. She now seemed to focus more on inspecting my body. Her eyes lingered on my exposed arms and she seemed to be almost admiring them or it was probably just my imagination.

I cleared my throat in embarrassment and she quickly averted her gaze.

She also looked embarrassed as she said, "Ok, sorry for disturbing you. You are such a good friend, I wish there was more people like you around. Now I can rest assured. "

"Thank you for your understanding," I said humbly in reply and just for good measure I flashed her the biggest innocent smile as I could. I hoped that did not look too forced and have the opposite effect to what I intended.

For some reason she looked kind of dazed. Then she gave a bow and then started to walk away, looking back every once in a while, until she disappeared around the corner. I scratched my chin and shook my head in confusion. Well at least that worked out better than I hoped, though not as I expected.

But now that I found out that Hide was gone for so long that even the landlady was starting to worry, then this was indeed a big problem. Hide might be in danger and I had to be there to help him. Hide had always helped me, so it was now my turn to return the favour. But where to start looking?

The best plan of action would be to first inspect the apartment first before going outside and arousing suspicion. So I re-entered the apartment and started looking around. Hide probably would not appreciate me digging around the apartment, but this was an emergency. I then spent the whole day looking in every nook and cranny of the apartment for some sort of clue of where Hide possibly could have gone. Half way through searching and I found some documents and stuff related to his workplace (a delivery business), so I then decided to phone there to check if anyone there had any idea where he had went.

To my surprise, they told me that Hide had quit work after he found a job at the CCG.

_THE CCG?_

How and why did Hide join the CCG? Did he finally decided he was interested enough in ghouls that he wanted to be involved with them directly? The mystery was just getting deeper and I was in a state of confusion. I had not wanted to have Hide be involved in the everlasting war between the ghouls and humans, yet he had probably willingly gotten himself involved. Then all the effort I had put in had become meaningless. Hide had probably gotten himself exposed to the danger. But this was all just purely my thoughts, there was no way to know what actually had happened. There was too much I did not know and it was driving me crazy.

In a state of frustration and fury, I threw the documents to the other side of the room with full force. They hit the shelf and a box that was sitting on the very top tipped over, and the contents spilled everywhere. I cursed and then felt very guilty, realizing that I had made a huge mess in Hide's apartment. I quickly started to put everything back into place. As I picked up all the stuff lying everywhere, something caught my eye. It was something that spilled out of the box after it had tipped over. It was some sort of book, but I could not see which one it was because it was very dusty. I rubbed and blew on it and slowly the title started to reveal itself.

_The Black Goat's Egg._

Even with this discovery, I noticed something else. There was a bookmark that looked very familiar. There was no doubt about it, it was mine.

I then realised that I was standing on a whole bunch of papers that had poured out of the box as well. The most noticeable one had my face on it. There was a CCG stamp on it and with a quick scan through it, it was how I had gone missing for several months. Along with those, there was reports on Kanou's experiments and particularly how it was connected to the disappearance of Kaneki ken.

I suddenly felt dizzy and my feet turned to jelly and I fell to the ground on my knees with a heavy thud and the papers flew all around the room before settling back to the floor as if nothing had happened.

_Hide knew._

That was the moment when all my memories started to burst out and what I had subconsciously pushed back to the corner of my mind.

I started to scream hysterically and I clutched my head and desperately tore at my hair.

_HideHideHideHideHideHideHideHideHideHideHideHideHideHideHide!_

_I am sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry…_

I remembered the day back at the sewers. The day I had last met Hide.

There was the sound of water cascading.

I breathed shallow gasps as I struggled through the dark passageway. I clutched my side as I stumbled forward. Everything was going to ruin.

There was no time. I had to rescue the manager.

My fight with Amon had me terribly wounded. My injuries were not healing.

"No time… Must rescue… Organise my mind… rescue… the manager… meat…. "I kept chanting to myself.

I almost lost my balance as I sloshed my way through the dark water.

"Kill someone… and eat…."

I had a crazed look in my eyes as my murderous intent started to show through my haze of pain.

" No …. No … Amon …. Don't die …. Manager … everyone … protect…"

"Kill….? Take… "

I no longer knew what I was saying.

"!"

I gave a gasp of surprise as something started to grab at my legs.

"_Mine mine mine,"_ the unknown voices cried out.

I screamed out in absolute fear as the faces started to reveal themselves.

"STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT ! Get away from me!"

I out my hands to my head and tried to block out the noises, even though no one was there.

They kept insisting that I give it back. The voices would not disappear.

"GET OUT! GET OUT! IT's MINE!"

"GET OUT OF MY BODY!"

I kept making deranged screaming as I started to bash my head against the wall. I would do anything as long as the voices disappeared. Blood stains on the grey wall were all that I got as a result.

As my mind was thrown into to turmoil, I realised the truth.

I wasn't the one eating the 'ghoul'.

The one being eaten was me.

As my mind was thrown into despair, a voice called out to me from the distance.

"Hey, Kaneki!" The voice called out.

_That voice…._

"What's with the getup? That in style these days? " he continued on.

I froze.

_It can't be._

"Hi – de ? " I whispered out in confusion as I turned around to the direction the voice was coming from.

"Whoa, ain't that something… Special make-up that'd shock even Hollywood…." Hide carried on in a jovial tone, then in a more serious manner, "…All this time… you've had to suffer like this…"

Hide sounded sad.

"You won't need it anymore, the mask," he said.

A moment of silence passed. My head was trying to process what was going on.

"…..", was all that I could say, then I tried to think as logically as possible, "I'm seeing things again."

"Hide can't be here. It's an illusion.

It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream.

It's nothing special. Happens all the time….

But if it isn't, H-Hi-Hide w-will know th-that I'm…. that I'm that I'm a ….!"

Hide came up. He placed a hand on my shoulder.

"I already knew, man! Who cares about that, let's just go home already." He gave a laugh as he said this.

I did not know what to say.

My head started to ache again.

Hide seemed to be thinking hard.

"I want to help you! Going by the surrounding feel and the way they've blocked off the routes… there's almost no chance of a ghoul making it out…"

I felt as though I was being pushed off the edge of insanity. I was losing control of myself. Hide had to get away before it was too late.

"Hide… I hear these voices… Run away… or I'll-," I managed to say.

"That's a nasty wound…" he said, while examining my body.

"…..Sorry Kaneki, can you fight with all you've got just one more time?" Hide said to me.

_Huh?_

_Why did I forget this most important part?_

I could no longer hold myself back. The ghoul part of me had won. I reached out to Hide and roughly pushed him back so that he stumbled and fell with a splash.

Before I realised what I was doing, I bit into Hide's arm with full force. I had already taken a bite of his flesh. Hide gave a gasp of pain as the blood starting to come out from the wound on his arm. As I heard his sound of pain I regained a bit of consciousness and I quickly backed away from him.

I was afraid. Afraid of myself. Afraid that I was going to hurt Hide even more. I could even end up killing him in the state I was in.

"Kaneki, unfortunately I don't think I will be able to give you any more than this," he said, giving a light laugh, even though he was clearly in pain.

"Hide, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I- " I started to frantically say.

Hide held up his one hand, silencing me.

"Calm down a bit. Next time you feel nervous, just quote a poem or something. Here, I brought you some meat. Don't ask where I got it from." Hide said, as he held a package up.

I hesitantly held out my hand and took it and quickly backed away from him again. I turned my back to him, as I did not want him to see me feeding. If I could have helped it, I would never have let Hide be even near me while I was feeding, but this was a state of emergency. I tore open the packaging and quickly gobbled down the chunks of meat and it disappeared in a flash. I gave a sigh of satisfaction as my hunger was sated. I could feel my wounds start to heal immediately.

As I turned around to face Hide again, I was shocked to find that he was a lot closer than I thought. He had a very curious look on his face.

"Well, that was the first time I saw a ghoul feeding." He said in a light tone.

I gave a look of horror to him.

He laughed at my expression.

"I have to get used to seeing you feed, so this is just the first step." He said.

I gave a confused look to him.

Hide gave a huge grin.

I felt momentarily blinded.

"Kaneki, listen to me carefully now. No "ghoul" will be able to make it past V14," Hide said, "that's why I thought of a plan…"

I remembered what I had forgotten. The promise I had made with Hide.


	11. Truth

**Notes:** Thank you so much so much for reading for so long, didn't expect this fanfic to go on so long.

Please review/comment, I would like to know what you think of the story so far.

**Summary:**

Hide is alive.

Kaneki remembers what he talked to Hide about.

**Chapter 10 : Truth**

"What? " I asked.

"I came up with a plan," Hide repeated calmly.

"No, I meant before that," I said.

"Oh, that," Hide said, scratching his head.

"Arima Kishou is coming."

_Arima Kishou?!_

This was hopeless, it was just getting worse and worse.

"But listen to me for a moment, there may be a way out of this, " Hide stated calmly.

"I'm all ears," I gave in reply.

"Before that, let's find somewhere dry to sit, all this water is making it hard to concentrate." Hide said.

"But, I'm running out of time-" I started arguing.

"There's no point rushing into things without a good plan. Rather work more efficiently then there will be better results." Hide reasoned with me.

I finally gave in after hearing his explanation.

After we found a place to sit, Hide started talking.

"Though a lot of people, especially ghouls may call Arima 'The God of Death' he is actually a pretty understanding guy." Hide said in a matter of fact way.

I found that pretty hard to believe, considering all the rumours, most of them likely to be true.

Anyway, he seems to have this weird habit of his," Hide continued on, "He seems to take a liking to strong ghouls."

_What? _

I gave a dumbfounded look to Hide, wondering just where he was going with this.

"See, Arima has a policy to never talk to ghouls, "Hide said.

"But every once in a while, he seems to take exceptions to this."

I waited for Hide to continue, but I was slowly getting what Hide was trying to say.

"He seems to have a few requirements before even thinking of chatting to ghouls.

He gave a pause before continuing.

"_First_, the ghoul happens to be close to someone Arima knows.

_Second,_ the ghoul has some semblance of humanity.

_Third_, he may know the ghoul himself and may know his or her circumstances." Hide listed all these points.

I listened in fascination as Hide explained this. Even though I knew Hide was intuitive, it never failed to amaze me when he put it into use.

Also, I finally understood what Hide was trying to tell me.

But another thought popped into my mind.

"Hide," I said with a stern expression on my face.

"What is it? " Hide asked, also having a serious face as he saw my expression.

"Why do you know all this? This kind of information is never revealed to the public. Also, why are you here in the first place? People that are not involved are not supposed to be in this area." I said to him, searching for answers from him.

Hide could see that there was no escaping the question, so he gave me an honest answer.

"I joined the CCG, " He said simply.

"What? Why? It's so dangerous in that line of work, especially if you have to actually go directly to deal with ghouls. You could get very hurt or killed, you were even injured by me, your friend!" I shouted at him in rage. I was angry, but this was so typical of Hide. He was not afraid of putting himself in danger if it meant reaching his goals.

"It's because of you," Hide gave another simple reply.

I just stared at him in shock, not knowing what to say.

"I found out you were a ghoul long time ago, but I didn't say anything because you tried so hard to hide it from me. You probably had a reason for that, so I respected your wishes. But then you disappeared. I thought it had something to do with the skirmish between the CCG and ghouls so I purposely started to do deliveries to the CCG whenever I could get the chance. I showed off my skills so they decided to hire me part-time. It seemed the fastest way to find out what happened to you, I was looking for you so that I could bring you back home," Hide explained to me.

As I heard this, my anger just seemed to dissipate and all that was left was me being shocked speechless.

_Hide had done all that for me._

I had run away, in pretence that I was actually protecting Hide, but in reality I was terrified of Hide finding out that I had become a half-ghoul. I often had recurring nightmares of Hide calling me a monster and if that ever became a reality I would not be able to handle it. Yet Hide had known all along. He had not even minded. He had just simply accepted it and just treated me like he always had, a precious unreplaceable friend.

"Hi-Hide You didn't have to do that, I-I don't deserve anything you have done for me. All these months, I didn't do anything that deserves what you are doing, I hurt so many people, I _k-killed _ghouls, I was completely merciless, I – " I stuttered, trying to form remain as calm as possible, yet I was failing badly. The walls of the sewers felt as though it was crashing around me – yet not because of despair, but rather because of the guilt I felt as happy emotions started to well up deep within me. I felt extreme guilt that I could feel even remotely happy that Hide had gone out of his way to help a person like me. Yet, no one else would have ever done so much for me in the past.

"It's ok, we're friends right? Friends help each other in need. You ran away because you really wanted to protect me right? Even if you were afraid of me finding out, it was because you cared about what I would think. I am doing all this because I really like you a lot." Hide said honestly, giving a huge grin directed towards me.

I just stared at him for a long moment, it was probably a full minute- until Hide broke the silence with an embarrassed cough.

"Hey Kaneki? Can you say something, I just gave this corny speech and you are not saying anything. I am getting embarrassed here…" Hide said, his face showing suspicious signs of turning red.

_Drip…._

Something dripped down. Except it wasn't water.

Hide looked a bit lost and had a troubled expression, not knowing what to do – which was rare for him, as a flow of tears starting cascading down my face. Now that I think about it Hide had never seen me crying before, even when we were kids, it was embarrassing, the thought of Hide seeing me crying – never mind completely unreserved bawling.

"Hide I'm sorry. So sorry… I am sorry for running away…. I'm sorry this had to happen … I'm just so sorry…. " I managed to sob out.

"Hey, Kaneki it's alright. You would have done the same for me if I went missing too wouldn't you?" Hide said softly, gently patting my back, and he kept doing that until I quietened down a bit.

"Hide…." I whispered.

"Kaneki it's going to be alright, we just need to get through this one more time. After that you can apologize all you want for disappearing on me like that." Hide said with a laugh.

Then he went serious again.

"Kaneki," he said staring deep into my eyes as he grasped my shoulders tightly, "fight Arima with all you've got, otherwise he won't be satisfied. Impress him with you strength. It would be even better if you could get a scratch on him. If it's you I'm sure you can do it. Otherwise you won't be known as the terrifying SS-rated ghoul 'centipede' will you, or are those just mere rumours? "Hide said, throwing me the challenge, with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

I accepted it, preparing myself.

"Kaneki, this is a gamble, but we are putting our all into this," Hide stated.

I nodded in agreement.

"Kaneki, I'm warning you in advance. Arima can be very overwhelming with his presence if he wants to be, especially towards ghouls. Don't get dragged in, it may be hard, but try to fight the best you can." Hide warned me.

I understood what I had to do. But then another problem came to mind.

"Hide, what about you? " I asked, worrying about what was going to happen to him.

"What about me? " He asked.

"If the CCG found out you helped a ghoul won't you get into trouble? " I asked.

"Kaneki, you don't have to worry about that. I am not doing anything wrong, I am just helping out someone important to me." He said in a straightforward manner.

I felt my face flush a bit when he was being so honest.

"I will have everything prepared for us when you get out of here. I will easily be able to escape with no suspicion. This plan relies on the fact that you survive. So don't you dare die on me. We have to meet again, and when we do let's go to another nice coffee shop, this time I will choose one, last time was just a disaster." Hide said this in a playful tone, but he was completely serious.

I nodded, determined now to survive. But I was still worried for the manager and everyone else.

"But what about the manager and Touka and – " I started to say.

"Don't worry about them, they managed to escape, the CCG never found them. For the manager, we have no choice but to go help him later. Also, he is very strong. He won't be taken down so easily I am sure he will be able to get away. Also the one-eyed ghoul appeared. It will cause a lot of havoc. Hope it's not too much though, I don't want a lot of casualties…" Hide said worryingly.

Hide was right, at the moment I could not save the manager. I was in no state to fight an army of investigators, I would probably just get in the way. The manager had a higher chance of winning, I would just have to put my faith in him. Also, I still had the fight with Arima Kishou to go through. If the rumours were all true, I would be lucky to make it out alive.

"Kaneki, I have to leave now before it gets too late. I have to get everything ready for our escape, I will most definitely see you again. Let's meet each other in 7 days in late evening at the place we liked to go as kids. After that time, things would have calmed down by then." Hide said with confidence.

He waved to me cheerfully and started to head off into the darkness. I strained my eyes until I could no longer see him. Hide would be alright, he probably memorised the whole map of the underground knowing the crazy things he tended to do.

So I also started to walk, though I was not exactly sure of where to go, so using my instinct I started to head to the place I felt the most danger. It was not clear exactly where I was heading, but eventually I would get to where I was meant to be.

I kept walking with no clear destination, and what kept me going were Hide's words.

_We will meet again soon._


	12. Time

**Notes: **

Thanks for reading as always, please review or comment, your thoughts are always appreciated. ^_^

The last few chapters were full of talking, this chapter has a bit more inner monologue.

I did not plan for this fanfic to take so long for Kaneki and Hide to meet together. I tended to get backtracked a lot in this fanfic. Thank you so much for reading this far.

**Summary: **

Will Kaneki make it on time?

**Chapter 11: Time**

I woke up from my state of reverie.

_How could I forget? _

_What day was it? _

Frantically I looked around. I needed to know the date. I knew when all the fighting had started so I just needed to know what day it was. I did not have my phone with me or anything and Hide's was not here either.

I would just have to ask someone nearby giving an innocent excuse that I forgot the date and I needed it for work. I looked out the window, it was getting a bit dark. The sun had already started to set, it could be seen peeking through the roofs of the buildings, the dying rays illuminating the horizon with shades of red, purple and pink. I had to ask someone before it got dark, people would not really want to talk to strangers late at night, especially with a strange guy with white hair.

I scrambled out of the apartment again, quickly locking the door. I pulled up the hood from the hoodie I was currently wearing to attract less attention to my hair. I then set off to look for someone to ask. At a brisk pace I walked quite a distance away from Hide's apartment. I did not want to cause suspicion around that area, what I was doing would reduce the risk of being found, even if it was only a little bit.

When I thought I was far enough, I started to search for someone to ask. I saw an innocent looking enough middle aged man and went up to him. He did not seem to be particularly in a hurry so he seemed to be the best bet.

"Excuse me," I said clearing my throat.

He stopped in his tracks, facing me with an expression that just screamed of annoyance.

_Uh, maybe he was a bad choice._

"What is it, I am buying anything if you are trying to sell me something." He said, frowning.

"No, no I just wanted to ask something. " I said quickly, waving my hands around.

"Then what is it?" he asked, looking a bit less annoyed.

Glad about his seemingly positive reaction, I asked him my question.

"Sorry, can I know today's date? " I asked with the most innocent look I could muster.

"Is that all? Why don't you know anyway, you could have just looked on your phone or something? " He said.

I scratched my head, trying my best to make an embarrassed looking face. This guy really was not giving a straight answer to me. He actually seemed like he wanted to have a chat with me, a total stranger. Well, he did look a bit bored earlier, by the way he was walking and his dead expression. He was probably going straight home from work, and nothing really awaited him back at home except the TV and cup noodles.

"This is embarrassing, but I unfortunately lost my phone. You see, went to visit my friend because I hadn't seen him in a long time. We ended up wasting a lot of time so I lost track of the days that went past. I lost my phone to along the way. I was coming back from the trip, that's why I am a bit disorientated at the moment," I lied giving a friendly embarrassed sounding laugh. Absent minded, my left hand automatically reached over to my chin.

"Ah, I see, that does tend to happen. That actually used to happen to me sometimes as well when I was younger. It happened one time when - …." He chattered on, in full conversation mode.

I groaned inside as the man carried on for another couple of minutes. He really must have been bored. But eventually he seemed to realize he had been going on for too long. He finally gave me the answer I was searching for.

"Oh, I forgot to give you the date, it's the 7th of October." He said.

I suddenly felt like reeling as realisation hit me.

_Seven October?! That's seven days later!_

"Hey, what's wrong? " The man asked.

I probably had an indescribable expression on my face. I quickly changed it to a friendlier one.

"It's nothing, just remembered I had to do the laundry today, "I said, trying to keep as calm as possible.

"Well, that's pretty important business, I hate doing my laundry as well," The man said.

He looked like he wanted to chat more. However, I had to leave quickly.

"Thanks, sorry for taking up your time, I should get going now," I said with a slight smile.

"No problem," The man gave in reply. He looked kind of disappointed as he started to walk off slowly with all the time in the world.

I was quite the opposite. I did not have any time to waste.

What was it that Hide said?

_The place we liked to go when we were kids._

Where exactly…

_Think! Think! I need to remember where it was!_

Those flashbacks I had, those of my childhood had started coming first. There had to be something important there…

There was a place we always met…

_That's it!_

I quickly glanced at the time, it was about nine already… and Hide had only said to meet up at late evening… I was probably late…

The place I needed to go to was quite bit of a distance off but I had to get there as fast as I could.

"_Hey, what's your name? " The young boy asked._

_I looked up from the book I was reading. A young boy about my age sat next to me._

"_Me, my name is Kaneki Ken, and you? "I asked in return._

"_Hide, you can call me Hide." He answered, "I just recently moved here so I don't know any of the other kids around here."_

_The setting sun shone on the river, as we sat side by side on the hill in front of it. The boy that was talking to me almost seemed to blend in with the warm orange light._

_He gave a grin from ear to ear. _

"_So Kaneki, would you be my friend?" _

I finally arrived at the place I was meant to be. I panted furiously as I had run there as quickly as I could. My heart was beating rapidly, threatening to jump out of my chest. I started to look everyway frantically back and forth.

The place I was in was just as I had remembered it to be. Except this time it was dark. It had gotten quite windy and the grass swayed from side to side. The river reflected the crescent shaped moon which got distorted by the rippling of water. I walked up the not so steep hill to head to playground that was ahead. Besides the sound of the howling wind, it was lacking in the usual noises of children because of how late it was.

The empty swings swung gently with the aid of the gust. The slides were devoid of the usual bundles of energy skidding down. The sandbox had the remains of what looked like a destroyed castle. The seesaw, jungle gym and all the other equipment just stood there dejected. The giant domed shaped structure with holes in it was also there.

There was no one in sight. I started looking all around once again. Still no Hide to be seen anywhere.

Had I come too late? Had Hide not waited up, thinking I wouldn't show up? This was the only chance I could see him, there was no other clues of where Hide could be.

I could no longer take it. I didn't care if I attracted attention. I started to call out to him.

"Hide, "I called out hesitantly at first, then "Hide!" with more strength.

"HIDE!" I shouted out as loudly as I could. Normally I wouldn't do something like this it would be too embarrassing for me to do, but this was the only thing I could think of. It didn't help that the wind was blocking out the noise either. So I shouted as loudly as I could while wandering around the playground. Eventually I reached the dome which was more towards the end. I turned my back to it and surveyed the park to see if anyone was there. I called loudly again and again.

Hide was nowhere to be found. My mind had started to fall into despair. What would I do now, there was no other way. What if I couldn't see him again? What if –

"Well took you long enough" A voice called from above.

_What- _

In confusion I looked around once again. No one. Wait, the voice came from behind me from above. I slowly turned around looking up as I did so, not daring to believe what I had heard.

"Hide," I sighed.


End file.
